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Erotic Bangkok
January, 2003
In Bangkok, erotic pleasure is for sale everywhere and at bargain prices by world standards. You can shop for sex in all kinds of places: bars, brothels, beer gardens, coffee shops, discos, massage parlors, but it's the massage parlors that really stand out.The premier massage parlor in Bangkok is located outside the major nighttime entertainment areas but you can get to it easily from some major hotels or by taking Skytrain or a taxi. It offers reliable service in luxurious surroundings at almost giveaway prices.
It's part of the Chaophya chain, specifically, Chaophya #2, located on the corner of Si Ayuthaya Road where it intersects Rathchaprarop Road. If you're staying at the Indra Regent Hotel or the Amari Watergate hotel, all you have to do to get there is walk up Rathchaprarop to Si Ayuthaya, cross Si Ayuthaya, turn left, and walk a few hundred meters. If you're taking Skytrain or a taxi, detailed information (including a card you can print out and show to the taxi driver) is presented at the bottom of this page.
Welcome to Chaophya #2 (702 KB, 7 seconds playing time).
For a few seconds, you can feel like you're there.
As soon as you get inside, you'll see dozens of attractive girls sitting on carpeted steps behind a giant picture window. Each girl wears a button that shows a number and has a ribbon attached to it. You request the girl by her number. The color of the ribbon indicates the type of service she provides. The girls are seated in different areas according to the following categories (prices are based on 43 baht to the US dollar as of January, 2003).
Current Exchange Rates, All Countries
< NO RIBBON (formerly red ribbon, called "Star Massage"), 1700 baht (USD $40); bath + sex.
YELLOW RIBBON: "Superstar Massage", 1700 baht (USD $40); bath + sex; girl is more experienced at giving the bath and massage and the room may be a slightly higher quality than with Star Massage.
(With both the red and yellow ribbons, a massage is secondary. You may have to ask for the massage if you want one. This will leave less time for sex.)
BLUE RIBBON: "Thai Traditional Massage", 500 baht (USD $12) for just a bath and therapeutic massage. 1500 baht for bath + massage + sex; the women appear older and are generally not attractive.
GREEN RIBBON: "Special Body Massage", 1700 baht (USD $40). In addition to the bath and sex, you get a body massage in which the girl massages you with her relatively large breasts.
The big news here is that all the girls who give sexual massages cost 1700 baht.
Sessions last 2 hours and include the price of the room. A manager will approach you soon after you enter the establishment. He can give you detailed information on the girl's background and services. Tell him the number of the girl you want. He will call in the number through a microphone. The girl you selected will come out within a few minutes and greet you affectionately. You walk with her and the manager to a nearby counter, pay your fee, then go up the elevator for your 2 hours of bliss.
No Tipping
In the past, girls have expected tips of 200 - 300 baht. Now they make it clear that they don't expect a tip at all. For example, after dressing, the girl turns to leave rather than hanging around you or sitting on the couch waiting for something else to happen. Recently, one adorable girl from Sukothai who was totally affectionate and accommodating gave a puzzled look when a 300 baht tip was offered and just walked towards the door.
The girls are well paid even without tips. When you pay 1700 baht at the counter, the girl will get 900 baht. The typical monthly salary for a hotel worker is 5000 baht. So in 2 hours, she earned about 20% of what a waitress or cook makes in a month. Whether or not you tip, a Chaophya girl is getting a good deal.
Basic Sexual Services
A great advantage of Chaophya #2 is that girls are pre-screened to ensure that they all will give you certain basic sexual services.
In addition to intercourse in any position, the girl will readily give you oral sex (with a condom) and will permit you to suck on her breasts and lick her clitoris and vagina.
CONDOM SUGGESTIONS: The girl will offer you a condom but it is suggested that you bring 2 of your own. (1) For vaginal sex, a latex condom with the spermicide nonoxynol 9 inside as an extra layer of protection. This can't be used for oral sex. (2) For oral sex, a plain or flavored latex condom. Strawberry flavored condoms are available in Bangkok at any 7-Eleven store at the counter.
Picking a Beauty
Unless you have really sharp eyesight, it can be hard to get a good look at the girls on the steps, even if you stand close to the window. The girl who comes out to greet you may not be as pretty as you thought. You can avoid unpleasant surprises by picking up a little telescope, the kind sold on the street, especially on Sukhumvit around the Nana Skytrain station. You can get the price down to about 200 baht (USD$ 4.50). Recommended is this Tasco scope, very light with sharp images. You can then sit at one of the tables in the lobby, have some coffee or tea, or a meal, and look over the girls. They're constantly arriving throughout the day and evening. One of life's simple pleasures--Bangkok style.
What to Ask For
If you have read this far, what you probably want is a thoroughly satisfying sexual experience and not a therapeutic massage for tired muscles. In that case, ask the manager for a "new girl". This will be a girl in the Red Ribbon category. She may have come to Bangkok just a month or two earlier from up north, or she may have worked in the Bangkok area at something else like selling cosmetics and recently started working at Chao Phya. The "new girl" may overlook a few details when giving you the bath, but in bed she will be more genuine and accommodating than the hardened Bangkok pros. The Yellow Ribbon girl has learned a fixed routine that meets the formal requirements of the job. She will go through her paces in a rigid, robotic manner and resist attempts by you to do things your way. For example, she is likely to give you an argument if you want to start off in bed just lying there with her, side to side, stroking and carressing her while letting your penis rub against her tummy. The newly arrived girl will accommodate this without backtalk and will quickly respond to the erotic stimulation herself. The downside is that during the bath she may turn off the water after the tub is full rather than letting it trickle in to make up for the water that leaks out. Or she may forget to drape a folded towel over the edge on the opposite end for you to rest your head on when you stretch out. And when you get out of the tub, you will probably have to dry yourself off. The Yellow Ribbon girl will pat you dry in every nook and cranny of your body. But the new girl will still give you a great experience in the tub, her hands gently flowing all over you while you float over her lap, admiring her pretty Thai face.
EROTIC SUGGESTION: Here's something you can do to get off to a good start in the tub. The girl always begins by facing you, getting into a kneeling position, and sliding her legs under your butt. With your legs stretched out, you float over her lap while she soaps and strokes your arms and chest. Try moving your penis up and down between her breasts when she leans forward. Bring your legs forward a little so you are sitting on her lap and continue your up-and-down movements. Also try carressing her exquisitely soft arms and shoulders. Concentrate on the sensations in your hands as they move over the curves. This is a gourmet erotic experience. Savor the moment.
About Chaophya #1
Chaophya #1 is located across the street and is basically a tourist trap. You will instantly be met at the door by a manager who will follow you around and try to pressure you into taking a girl. The girls are set up in two groups. Girls who give body massages and sex sit on steps behind a window like in CP #2, but they cost 2,000 baht (USD$ 47) instead of 1700 baht. They are similar in attractiveness to CP #2. Something new is that there is a second group of girls who sit on couches right off the lobby and are said to be (and look) "younger" than the others. They cost 2,500 baht (USD $58). Some of these girls are really cute.
Quick Tips
1. Don't select a girl from the back row when there are a lot of empty rows in front her. It probably means she is unattractive and is trying to make it harder for you to see this.
2. Chaophya #2 opens at 11:00 AM and the "last call" goes out at midnight. The later you go, the more girls there will be sitting on the steps and the better your choices will be. Avoid going before 4:00 PM.
3. For an additional 60 baht you can get a VIP room, but it is suggested that you take the regular room for two reasons: (1) The VIP room has a bathtub that is wider but not longer than the one in the regular room. This is a disadvantage because it gives no extra legroom to stretch out but it takes longer to fill up. Chances are it will be filled up only part way, which gives you less buoyancy during the bath and deprives you of a truly blissful, erotic experience. (2) The hot water may not be available when you enter, perhaps because the rooms are not used very often. The water may be cool or a little warm at best. The regular rooms provide consistent service. On the positive side, the VIP room has a fresher look and is somewhat better furnished than the regular one.
How to Get There Take Skytrain to Station N2, Phaya Thai. If you are coming from Central Station (Siam Square), go to the OPPOSITE side of the platform , then walk in the SAME DIRECTION as the train was going to the exit at the farthest end of the platform. After coming down the steps, you will be on Si Ayuthaya Road but on the opposite side of the street from Chaophya #2. As you continue up the street there will be an office building near the corner with a Chaophya sign close to the sidewalk. It has nothing to do with massages; pass it by. Keep going until you reach a pedestrian overpass, cross over Si Ayuthaya, and keep going until you reach the parking lot of Chaophya #2.
The "#2" is emphasized here because on the same street on the other side there is a Chaophya NUMBER 1 that is run like a high pressure tourist trap and is more expensive than CP #2.
If you're going by taxi, you may want to print out the following card and show it to the taxi driver. The driver may attempt to take you to another place because he will get a commission for doing so. You should insist on going to the place shown on the card.
Bangkok Message Board
Visits Since July 31, 2000:
FastCounter by bCentral
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| rollerfink |
Do they have a drive through? |
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| sweet fajita brown |
hey rollerfink, do you remember that commercial that went 'looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker'? |
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| rollerfink |
Vaguely. I looked it up and found this...
Blaow, cli-clao, cli-clao, how you like me now
Blaow, cli-clao, cli-clao, guard your lips, funk that
Who see my back, who be my back, who rockin' that?
Who got my back, like that, a gat
Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker
Even deeper a reaper ain't scared of a weaker creeper either
It ain't no mystery, you played your history like a hoochie
Now we see where Miss Goldberg is a Whoopie
White face, black paint, didn't get me dancin'
White men can't jump, and I bet you ten can't dance, son
Fuck what you heard, just act like you listen
Any mission caught dissin', listen, I'm pissin' on your system
Then I'm playin' Mr. Split You, with your sister
Fuck stick and move, bitch I'm slick, I stick and blister
Then I sliver through your liver, quiver, shake an earthquake
The style shaker, that make you wet the faker
To tell 'em I'm yellin', cause I'm strapped, I'm mad at the world
Drinkin' earl, heard shots, who got my back
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| sweet fajita brown |
oh. well i don't care about that commercial anymore.
have you seen thr E! commercial where they go "its good to be a saucy aussie,"? |
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| rollerfink |
Nope, but did you see the new tv show where they put a bunch of american girls in the outback and they try and win the heart of Outback Jack.
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| sweet fajita brown |
shit. i wish that girl was looking at MY penis in a jar. |
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| jedgar |
pickle everything, that's what i say. pickle jellybeans, pickle gumption, pickle pickles even. go crazy! all it is is water and vinegar anyhow, and who ever died from that. not batman, that's for almost definitley certain. |
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| sweet fajita brown |
i don't like rollerfink any more or less than before he said blaow cli-clao to me. |
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| rollerfink |
I find that I like myself a little better now so I guess everything evens out in the end. |
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| jedgar |
yeah but i'm not attracted to you anymore |
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| asshole |
I'm still attracted to you rolo. So no worries, except of course for the fact that I'm attracted to you. |
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| rollerfink |
I'm attracted to this guy.
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| sweet fajita brown |
get that scorpion off that guy's face!! |
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| jedgar |
the white on his face sure does make his teeth look yellow. just like when you pee on cocaine. |
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| sweet fajita brown |
all chinese people have yellow teeth. |
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| jedgar |
all earth people have brown b-holes. |
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| jedgar |
oh shit michael ontkean's on this shitty north shore tv show. |
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| sweet fajita brown |
this new northshore show blllllloooooooooooooooooooows. why did they get rid of the best cast member from the first season? that guy sonny who gives everybody a rap on the back of the head. |
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| jedgar |
i know that's a joke but i don't get it.
nope, i still don't get it. |
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| sweet fajita brown |
haha. you don't remember sonny from boarding house northshore? the guy who said "did you get a good look at my wife's crotch?" and punched everybody all the time in the head? |
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| jedgar |
oh that surfing show. this show has that ugly woman bruce willis is or was boinking. |
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| sweet fajita brown |
diana degarmo. |
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| rollerfink |
Did you see the casino show where the gambling guy stole that guy's girlfriend but it was a guy. The rest of the show sucked but that guys wobbly neck and skill with the ladies was pretty engrossing. |
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| jedgar |
do you mean the casino show (real) or the las vegas show (unreal, james caan)? these new shows are awesome. like the o.c. and las vegas and north shore and HAWAII!! |
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| rollerfink |
It was the casino show for real not the casino show for james caan's belly. It's pretty bad with obvious setups.
Dit you see rhett buttler and drew carrie "calling bullshit" on last comic standing? Hah aaha hha hah aha h a that was pretty funny. But I did want that one guy to get on. |
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| jedgar |
when? aw did i miss it tonight? i watched it last night. what happened. STOP THE MEAT FROM THINKING. i just watched i stand alone again. what the shit am i supposed to do now? |
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| rollerfink |
It was on last night fool. You've probably only got 8 or 9 chances to catch the re-run on comedy central. |
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| jedgar |
oh. no. wait, what. i did watch it last night (if today was yesterday). you mean the one where that chick said cunt? that's the one i saw. i always see the ones where they say cunt. |
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| rollerfink |
No today is today so it was on last night as in Wdnesday night. It was the one where they chose the second group of 5 people for the house.
Drew carey, Rhett or Brett Buttler or whatever, the guy from yes dear, and that annoying chick from last year -- tess- where the judges.
And there was this one funny guy who's pretty funny and he didn't get in the house. And rhett buttler walked out and drew carey stomped through the halls and said I call bullshit, none of us voted for those people because they aren't funny. And then the producer came in and said well you guys get to vote, but we pick who we want on there anyway. So drew was all like oh okay. |
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