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| jedgar. |
I TOTALLY FORGOT IT WAS FRIDAY THE NEW WORLD STARTS IT BETTER BE PLAYING AT THE PALISADES I'M GONNA GO GO GOOOOOOOOO |
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| jedgar. |
The New World (PG-13, 150 min.)
12:40pm |3:50pm |7:00pm |10:10pm
i'm so totally there.
YA YA! |
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| jedgar. |
??? anyone know about this already? |
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| jedgar. |
hey hey, matthew barney's got a new film. it's called DRAWING RESTRAINT 9. catchy title. bjork's in it and does the soundtrack. hm. |
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| hitler knievel |
count me out. of the barney thing. the new world and the sodabyrd movie look GREAT |
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| jedgar. |
punch you out? ok. WHAP! ha ha. i walk into the theater and alls i can tell is some monumental event is happening on the screen and i walk up a few steps and turn around and all i see is MEL GIBSON'S APOCALYPTO!!!! and i was like apocawhatto?
the new world is beautiful and i'm glad i saw it in the theater? do i think malick did the best he could've with it? well, i guess so. i guess my main particular problem was that it too often was too similar to the thin red line. just the way he's cutting everything together and overlapping dialogue. yeah, i get into all that sure, but some of the more poetic voiceovers just play like copycats. and he probably exceeded his limit of footage of pocahontas walking through fields with either colin farrell or christian bale. i think i was expecting a broader canvas, it was all centered tightly around the pocahontas love story. i don't know. a second viewing on dvd will help. the frame was an inch too low and i had to change my seat during the credits because the guy i decided to sit near breathed like a farty asshole. |
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| MotherPig |
I went to see Brokeback Mountain today...I don't get all the hype!!! |
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| jedgar. |
um, hello? heath ledger's wang? |
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| hitler knievel |
chode sac mountain wasn't all that good? bull. i've never seen an ang lee movie that wasn't at least pretty good.
i'm sad to hear that about the new world. i am still very excited to see it. its all about the pocahontas love triangle? UGH! why? i thought they were just making it look that way on the trailer. i thought it was gonna be like an epic tale with a cast of thousands like rape and slaughter and people climbing off boats and screaming like AAAAAAAAAAUGH! like a wilhelm scream or something then SPLASH! into the lagoon!!! but i guess i can deal with a smaller story. |
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| jedgar. |
yeah, it's all about pokiehantass. the best thing about it is like what roger ebert said, it has an amazing sense of newness, like you really kinda believe these things are happening for the first time. it definitely succeeds on that level. i definitely recommend it, don't get me wrong. just that like at one point colin farrell's voiceover goes "who am i that blah blah blah..." and i couldn't help hearing jim caviezel's voice from thin red line because it was so similar. and i think the poetry added more to thin red line (men dealing with war and death etc) than it did to the new world. |
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| hitler knievel |
i watched the remake of the fog tonight. yeah, i know, why? i don't know why. but rupert wainwright directed it. is that loudon wainwright III's son???
what bugs me about this latest string of 70s horror remakes is that they took movies that had premises especially conceived for low budgets, movies that only had a lot of heart to back them up, and made them into effects-laden superturds with no heart whatsoever.
another thing that bugs me is they get these 22 year old tv commercial directors with no respect for the originals. tv commercial directors study how to hold your attention for thirty seconds... and thats about what these movies do.
oh shit. and i read somewhere that david lynch was once on a short list of directors to make fast times at ridgemont high. |
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| hitler knievel |
one thing thats kind of interesting (not necessarily in a good way) is how the new fog manages to re-capture those really awkward moments in john carpenter movies. like when a plot point is totally squeezed out of an already implausible dialogue. or a strange aside that doesn't sound like anything a real person would say and serves to purpose at all. kurt russel was the only one who could really toss out one of those weird "heck of a way to eat your breakfast," lines and make it work. |
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| jedgar. |
i'm not even sure i'll ever rent it. how's the ending? the ending of carpenter's fog is one of my top 3 horror movie endings eva with phantasm and something else. i forget. the prince of darkness ending is pretty creepy, but that's not it. i wonder if there's any reason to rewatch like village of the damned or lord of illusions or some of that shit. prob not. or memoirs of an invisible man!!! they kept the lighthouse subplot, right? did the lighthouse lady have huge knockers? |
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| hitler knievel |
the lighthouse lady is selma blair. i couldn't get through the fog. i pride myself in being able to sit through any turd and to learn from bad movies. but i rented the aristocrats and watched the fog first. all i could do was think about watching the aristocrats instead.
the aristocrats isn't very good either though. gilbert gottfried tells the best version. martin mull and sara silverman tie for 2nd best. drew carey gets honorable mention. then there's at least 95 other versions that are all pretty much the same. meh, theres a couple good laughs in the aristocrats, but its mostly like "how many ways can we drive shitting in your daughter's cunt into the ground?" |
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| jedgar. |
dude, if whatever you just said has anything to do with the punchline of that joke, i am going to tear your skin off and boil it in vinegar. 'cause i haven't seen it yet, and i don't know the joke. but now every time i'm about to rent it i'm gonna be like aw jeez do i really feel like wasting a rental on a movie about a whole bunch of different people telling the same joke over and over again? i'm gonna go listen to new york groove seven times in a row. hey, that reminds me of something. i swear, emilio extevez used to be cool. i always remember him being on the old letterman show, i don't know what movie he was plugging but he told some story then letterman says something like and did you go back to the party? and emilio estevez goes nah, i went home and watched taxi driver nine times. and i was like that emilio estevez is all right by me. plus i was a huge repo man fan. haha. man-fan. |
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| hitler knievel |
moiler alert.
the punchline is "the aristocrats"
the joke itself isn't funny. its all about how every comic adds his own flourish to this old dumb joke that nobody ever really found funny. its considered like the ultimate hack move to tell the joke to an audience, its like the joke comics try to outdo each other in telling to other comics. like, everybody knows the punchline and the set up, the gag is how dirty you can make the little details in the middle. its a pretty cool premise for a documentary. ebert made a good point. he said the movie could have been a cool half hour documentary, but at 90 minutes, it gets boring. |
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| jedgar. |
man, i just made the dumbest joke ever. then i deleted it really quick. it was so dumb, like "double dumb"! |
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| hitler knievel |
let's hear it. dumb jokes are funny.
speaking of dumb jokes, i tried to pull a rollerfink the other day at work. we were having a meeting and they go "anybody have any final words? jefferson?" and i said "tacos." and a couple people laughed. but the zinger was this one really dumb fat broad who always says things nobody understands chimes in with "goes great with indian food!" and everybody was like what the fuck does that mean?
there are two dumb bitches where i work that say stuff that nobody knows what they mean. one skinny and ugly and one fat and disgusting. jedgar can have them both if he wants them. the skinny one talks exactly like droopy from those old cartoons. the fat one has these long nanny goat hairs on her chin. |
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| jedgar. |
the skinny one sounds hot. |
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| hitler knievel |
haha. she's okay i guess. she looks like if julia louis dreyfuss had hair like roseanne rosanadana and giganitc gums that hung down way out of her mouth.
[Edited by hitler knievel] |
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| jedgar. |
i like my gum sugar-free. |
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| MotherPig |
No...don't get me wrong, Brokeback Mountain was moving and sentimental and gushy with love and lots of butt action, but I thought it moved along rather SLOW. It was the kind of movie that I did kinda enjoy, but couldn't sit throught it again. It was no Groundhod Day, if you know what I mean. |
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| hitler knievel |
throat crack mountain will probably win best hullabaloo at the oscars, don't you think? just based on the hype. |
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| MotherPig |
I wouldn't surprise me one bit to see "Do it in the Butt Mountain" to win best picture. Although, personally, I'd rather see "Walk the Line" win it. Joaquin Phoenix was freakin great in that one. Also, I enjoyed watching THE LINE much better. However, history tells us that the best picture does not usually win that statue!!!! |
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| hitler knievel |
i'm hoping terrance howard beats philip seymour hoffman for best black actor. |
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| MotherPig |
I don't want to disappoint you or anything like that, but there is no way Philip Seymour Hoffman will get best black actor. Don't ask me how I know, but I honestly have inside info on that. I'm torn between Joaquin and P.S. Hoffman for best actor. If I had the final word, I'd have to go with PSH but only because I think Joaquin prolly gets more pussy (blush)..... |
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| hitler knievel |
philip seymour hoffman was good as capote, but wheres the surprise there? he's good in everything. the oscars don't really pick the best of anything, they just expand their franchise. they can string PSH along for another 30 years, then honor him for a movie he didn't deserve it for, like with pacino. terrance howard is an up n comer and it could turn him into the next cuba gooding jr. haha. i hope not. |
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| jedgar. |
did someone say BOAT TRIP?! |
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| hitler knievel |
no |
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| jedgar. |
oh yeah? well, |
VICTOR IS MINE