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| arch deluxe |
i exclusively go to girls' houses. no girls will be coming over to the disgusting filth of our place. i can scarcely contain my vomit when i come up the walk way to 4507, and i can only imagine what a pretty girl would be thinking.
if we're lucky, that tree will crush the house.
and i'm sure the fact that in the entire filthy disgusting house, my bedroom is the filthiest and most disgusting room doesn't help matters either. |
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| rollerfink |
You should get a maid. Instead of paying her you can just let her sleep in the butler's room. |
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| arch deluxe |
oh, more big news. we have no butler anymore!!! so now the dogs are in charge. |
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| rollerfink |
How did you overthrow the buttle? |
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| arch deluxe |
the landlord told him to get out. he still shows up every couple of days, but he's no longer taking care of the property. |
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| rollerfink |
Viva la revolution!!!! I hear that Colon Powell is available. |
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| arch deluxe |
did you see colon powell doing the village people dance on daily show? very funny.
it was much better with him taking care of the dogs. shadow has demolished the place and when you come home he jumps up and howls at you because he's lonely. i'm holding out for that tree collapsing and killing us all. |
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| Lamont Bond |
shadow is an amazing dog though, he just needs so much attention. but I have kind of accepted that he's not going anywhere. going to have to start buying dog food and shite and paying with the little runt more than just when I smoke butts.
I hate the guilt more than I hate having to do shit that doesn't have anything to do with me.
but if that negra buttler is gone then I want access to the garage. I think he's just sleeping elsewhere because of the season or some stupid shit, whatever now I hate everything too!
blahblah blah I hope the tree kills us allglarbglrabglarb, I hope I die in my sleep aghuaghuaghuiaghu
oh wait! I just remembered I HAVE AMAZING POT AT HOME!!!
BLUEBERRY KUSH!!!
I take it all back. I couldn't be happier with my life.
hey jedzo, jiffro look at this you miserable fucks
not you rolerby, I know you don't hate your existance and I thank you for that. |
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| arch deluxe |
jedgar seems much happier than me nowadays.
although i just met a beautiful 30-something year-old woman on the elevator.
at this point, i might be too fargone for even a beautiful woman to fix me. its going to take a good old fashioned killing spree. WATCH YOUR ASSES, FUCKERS! I'M COMING TO YOUR TOWN AND MY MINI SUB MACHINE GUN RATING HAS REACHED HITMAN LEVEL! |
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| Lamont Bond |
that means he can walk AND shoot at the same time.
head for the hillz jedzo.
rolerby doesn't sweat jiffy's violent yet cheeky antics...
CAUSE HIS WIFE IS STRAPPED JEFFRAUCH!!
don't step to rolo, CAUSE HE'S GOT DA JEWSS!!! |
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| rollerfink |
I live in detroit. Nobody can touch me. Dee-troit. |
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| arch deluxe |
i won't kill rolo. i'm just going to shoot him in the spine. HE WOULD LOOK HILARIOUS IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!
i'm going to try and cheer myself up, topsy.
some of it is just personal, but some of it affects you and little fred. THAT TREE IS GOING AWAY! ALL THOSE STICKS IN THE YARD, THEY'RE GOING WITH THE TREE. what do you think? |
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| Lamont Bond |
I say YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
NO DOUBT CHAMP! I'm all about it. |
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| arch deluxe |
so i'm going to put good fred on landman detail. he has to at the very least put me in touch with the landman so i can tell him the tree is knocking the fence over and both must be taken care of. if we tell him the tree is ready to fall and when it does it takes out the roof, he shouldn't mind paying to get it taken care of. should he refuse, i'm calling a guy out to get an estimate anyway. |
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| Lamont Bond |
no doubt, I'm with you on this one. worst case scenario we deduct it from the rent.
the landman seems like a reasonable guy...I'm sure if we just reason with him....well, who knows, but I am down for the cause. and whoever takes the tree away will probably take the fucking piles of twigs too. |
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| arch deluxe |
now that that is settled, the next order of business is the garage. if the bute is going to live there he can't be up to any monkey business (we made that very clear and from what i hear, he's not holding to his word) and he has to earn his keep. it appears that he's fallen short on both counts, and per the landman's orders, he's gotta go. at that point, we will need garage access. right? |
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| Lamont Bond |
correct. what do you mean from what youve heard he's not holding up his end, what have you heard...
but yeah, if he's not going to be doing anything then we need access...
HOLLYWOOD ACCESS!!! |
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| arch deluxe |
i thought i told you about it but maybe i just told gf.
at the party zach said the bute sold his friend some stuff that ended up being fake, so his friend was super pisses off. i was just like "i don't know anything about it and i don't want to know anything about it," so i didn't ask any details, like maybe it was 6 months ago... but it didn't sound like it. it sounded like it was recent.
hey, if we can use the garage, can we just chuck all that shit on the one side and park there? |
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| Lamont Bond |
park where in the garage? I doubt it. besides noone's moving there cars so you can park in the garage. i don't get why you boycott parking in the driveway anyway.
the buttle is on his way out...simple as that.
if you buy a bike you could park your bike in there. |
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| Lamont Bond |
i will say she be relatively sensitive about the butle. we don't want an angry butle on our hands anymore than we want an aids infested rabid shadw on our feet.
if he gets mad at us he could steal our toys!! |
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| arch deluxe |
i don't park in the driveway because never once have i come home and seen an available space. i have to park three blocks up nearly every single day because by the time i get home, everybody has taken the good spots.
we very much need to be sensitive about the bute issue. who even knows when we will see him next? the fact of the matter is that he lives rent free on two conditions, which he has not been fulfilling. that, coupled with the landman's order that he get out, cannot be argued against. |
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| Lamont Bond |
I conqure.
Also, apple pie is delicious! |
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| jedgar |
holy shit would you two get a room already. |
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| arch deluxe |
we have several rooms and also an attic with a little israeli in it. |
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| Lamont Bond |
you play your cards right jedzo and we MIGHT let you buttle for us. |
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| jedgar |
i don't want to buttle for you, i just want to buttle you whay-ho! |
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| arch deluxe |
hey jedgar, remember when nobody knew you were jedgar and you were like "who do you guys think jedgar is?" |
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| Lamont Bond |
whoooooo'sss Jeeedjjoooooo? |
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| arch deluxe |
be honest, what do you think of my avatar?
BUT DON'T BE TOO HONEST! i couldn't take any harsh criticism. |
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| jedgar |
the fact that it's pretty lame is overshadowed by the fact that it's anything but amanda peet's yambos. |
